I don't authentically know how to begin this blog post. I have been away for almost a month now, and it feels like an immensely long a time... which you could expect after my last post. I believe I owe you a newer, fresher post explaining what's been going on after the last entry, now that I've found time to do so, finally!
First of all, the most important thing, I am feeling much, much better now than a month ago. The difference can be seen as a happy, energetic, inspired and fresh, almost a whole new me, but the internal change is even greater. For the first time ever in my life, I have forgiven myself for my mistakes. And believe it or not, I have never loved myself the way I do now - tremendously, purely, unconditionally.
I have embraced my flaws and no longer punish myself for bad memories that have happened in the past - because they indeed are in the past, not the future or the important present. I see myself as something of worth and that I can do whatever it is that I want in life. I encourage myself to dream, and think outside the box, and step out of my comfort zone. I feel good when I am being confident yet kind of heart, and after every day, I praise myself for the person I am, the long road of rocks and beaches I have travelled, and how valuable I am to my friends, family, and the world. We are all of equal worth, and now I have found myself to be one of that "all".
I also have found my strengths that I treasure, weaknesses that I accept, preferences I respect, and through the help of professionals and near friends and family, I have gradually become this human being that has found herself back from depression. I believe I have overcome the absolute worst part of depression, because I don't feel it these days - at least the very majority of these days.
Acts of kindness and self-help works have had their share as well. They prompted me to get help, as funny as it sounds. Friends and family have had the biggest impact, and my dear mother has helped me through days of desperation and teary, terrible nights. My friend Eliel has also been a huge help, for with him I can share everything, good or bad, and always know that I have a lovely friend no matter what. Elsa, Bimbo and Emi have all been purring in my lap and pushing with their heads to tell me that they love me. Ella the Dog has been a sweetheart as well, following me around the house and has given me plenty of kisses. But like everyone says, the biggest steps have been the ones I have made myself. With help, I have gotten the fearlessness to take those steps.
And now I'm here! I have seen friends, eaten well, slept like a baby, found the joy of health, pampered myself, danced with 200+ other people in a huge arena... and loved and still do love myself like never before. The road of acceptance, respect and love has been long, and though now I know that bumps on the road are part of life, I have realised I am at the correct end of the tunnel - and I'm not moving anywhere, except maybe more towards the light.
Truth be told, I have just became wiser and stronger an young adult, and although this isn't by far as bad as things I've experienced before, I am still more than happy that I have conquered this major obstacle - and that I am back better than ever!
Now, I'm more than inspired to continue with Symphonicats (I never had any doubts about this!), to grow the blog and grow as a blogger as well! I want to share updates of cats, because no update or photograph is the same as the other, and bits and pieces of my personal life to add to the lifestyle in the blog! Currently I am on my winter holidays, which lasts for the whole of next week, and I am so thrilled to have you with me throughout the week, in hopes of getting actively posting again! To be absolutely honest, I haven't been this excited over my blog for the longest time!
That's going to be it for today, I hope you got some clarification on my well-being that I feel today! Even though this was just a smaller update filled with my purest thoughts, I feel like this is the first step towards actively blogging again!
You're all incredibly wonderful (and I guess I've figured out, so am I!)! I love you all so much, take care, be safe, sending love and hugs to you all! ♥
See you soon! ♥